


The Dildo

by TheBeakWriter



Category: One Piece
Genre: AU, Drabble, Other, just a little fic I found and wanted to upload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 03:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeakWriter/pseuds/TheBeakWriter
Summary: What Killer thought would be a nice evening on the couch with his favorite tv show turned out to be quite the oppersite, when his roommate Kidd finds himself in quite a predicament with a certain sextoy.





	The Dildo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [This guy got a dildo stuck up his ass](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/342591) by televised snowmang. 



Hello Ao3 and welcome to my profile! Enjoy this old fic I found from the deepest folders of my computer. It was written back in 2013 so it is quite old! I decided to upload it because I found the story that inspired me to this fic amazingly funny. I included the link so you can go read the twitter story yourself. For now enjoy the fic.  
_____________________________  
(Old presentation for 2013)

It all started with this post:  
http://l-birdie.tumblr.com/post/53616941595/geminicreations-i-think-this-may-just-be-the  
And before I knew it I have written a fanfic about it involving Kid and Killer! Please be kind, this is my first try on a fanfic.

I am so sorry xD  
—————————

The Dildo  
Killer was speechless. He could only stare at his younger friend, who stood behind the couch, looking everywhere else, but at him. To say he was shocked would be an underestimation. “So” he said: “You can’t get it out?”. Killer had clearly pushed one of Eustass’ buttons, as the redhead snapped at his friend “YES, for the seventh fucking time IT’S STUCK!” Eustass looked down again, the color of his face now matching his hair. 

Killer just nodded while the last few minutes went through his head, like a flashback. 

Killer had just come home from work and cooked for both him and his roommate, Eustass Kid. After helping each other cleaning the kitchen, Kid went into his room while Killer flattened out on the couch and picked up the newspaper, while drinking a nice cold beer. After an hour or two, Kid suddenly came out from his room. He was very silent and walked up behind Killer, who didn’t notice him until Eustass suddenly spoke: “Killer?”. Killer jolted and nearly choking on his beer, he turned around to scold his younger friend, but went silent when he saw the pain in Kids face. Both just looked at each other for a few seconds until Killer finally said: “Hey Kid, are you alri-“, “It’s stuck”. Killer blinked a few times, not getting what the redhead was talking about. “What do you mean? What is stuck?” Kid turned his back to killer, who suddenly noticed the younger couldn’t move properly, like something was showed up in his ass. Killers face went blank and all he could do was staring at his younger friend. Eventually he found the courage to repeat: “Kid, what is stuck?” The younger man suddenly stiffened, hiding his face in his hands while he cursed worse than a blacksmith before he mumbled something. Killer didn’t quit get it at first, so he leaned forwards a little closer “what?” Kid looked down at him and hysterically shouted from the top of his lungs, face even redder than his hair “A FUCKING DILDO IS STUCK IN MY ASS!!”  
Killer sat in the car. It had taken half an hour to literally force Kid into the front seat, before they could go to the hospital. He fumbled with the radio, trying to kill the awkward silence, while Kid just sat in the passenger seat, silent as the grave. When they arrived to the hospital, Killer walked over to Eustass side of the car to open the door for his friend, but instead he almost got the door slammed into his face, as the redhead kicked it open and stood out. Killer closed the door after him knowing his friend was pissed, “can you wa-” Kid turned around and hissed angrily “Yes I can fucking walk myself, don’t you dare come near me!” before he turned around and continued on his way to the front doors walking with legs spread, like cowboys in old Western films. 

When they got to the counter, Kid suddenly stopped and looked at his friend and mumbled: “this was a bad idea! Let’s go home. I am sure you can get that damned thing out of my asshole!” Before Kid could say any more, Killer grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the counter.  
He shoved him onto the desk and kept a good hold at his neck, while the redhead fought him like a hurricane. “Miss, my friend here needs medical attention!” Killer looked the nurse dead in the eyes and concluded: “He got a dildo shoved up his ass and he can’t get out”. 

Several minutes and a broken chair later, they finally got the enraged Eustass Kid to calm down. Two doctors were threatened with fates worse than death, when they tried to examine Eutass. The two were shown to the ER department, where they now sat waiting for Kid to get an x-ray scanning. Killer sighed and slid a hand through his hair, looking at his friend: “Must you turn this into such a big problem? Just try to cooperate, alright?” Kid turned around slowly in a most menacing fashion, looking darkly at his friend. “It’s not you who got a fucking dildo showed up into your ass, so shut the hell up Killer!” Killer sighed and turned away from the fuming redhead, studying the waiting room. Suddenly he noticed a faint sound, like something buzzing. He grabbed his phone to check if someone was calling him. Killer frowned when he saw his phone was sat to silence and he looked around to find out, where the stupid buzzing sound came from. He suddenly turned to Eustass, whose breathing was heavy. “Hey kid, I think someone is calling you” Kid looked at him, face again as red as his hair “I-It’s not my phone…” Killer looked confused but then put two and two together: “don’t tell me the fucking thing is still on?” Kid only looked at him, wriggling a little bit while he tried to keep he labored breathing down. 

This information provoked the blond man into a laughing fit. This was too much, even for Killer. Kid hit him hard on the back, while Killer laughed into his knees, trying not to be too loud. ”Don’t laugh at me you shitty asshole! This is not funny!”. Killer calmed down after some minutes and looked at Kid, until the buzzing could be heard again, setting Killer off once more. To say it was awkward sitting beside a partly aroused Eustass Kid would be an understatement. Killer didn’t know what to say, he had not expected to use his afternoon on the hospital with Kid. He sipped his coffee and decided to ask his friend the question, which had been buggering him since they left home. “Kid?” he could feel how the younger tensed even more and still refused to look at him. “May I ask you a question?” The redhead snorted: “Fuck no!” Killer sighed: “What made you put that thing up in your ass in the first place?” Kid glared at him, grumbled and mumbled:”Can’t a guy experiment sometimes?” Killer shook his head: “Of course, but would you at least use something, which can’t get stuck up in your ass next time? I really don’t want this to happen again.” they went silent expect for the quite buzzing, coming from the vibrating dildo. Killer looked at Kid and frowned: “How fucking long are those batteries supposed to last?” “I don’t fucking KNOW Killer, but it’s too much right now! It’s still fucking vibrating!” Kid let out a groan, and hid his face in embarrassment. 

After their little conversation Kid was brought to the X-ray, killer stayed behind, silently praying that Kid would behave and not break any expensive things.  
Much to Killers relief, Kid had cooperated and returned to the waiting room with a scowl, looking more menacing than ever. Killer opened his mouth to say something, but Eustass quickly shut him up with a short answer: “They made me take my pants off and shove my ass up at the x-ray camera thing, fucking bitches!” Killer nodded “so… what now?” Kid scratched his hair and sighed “Gotta go see the doctor.” Killer just kept his mouth shut and nodded. 

Half an hour later, Kid sat on a bed waiting for the doctor to examine his x-ray photos, everything was silent in the room. Suddenly the door smacked open, and into the office stepped the last person Kid wanted to see right now. “What the fuck are you doing here, Trafalgar?!” Kid hissed between his teeth, the doctor named Trafalgar Law, who lived in the flat below the two friends, looked up at Kid with a bored expression: “Just doing my job Eustass-ya. I work here, after all.” The doctor nodded a hello to Killer and walked over to the light board, switched it on and smacked the x-rays of Kids’ ass up on it. Killer cringed inside himself, when he saw the black and white picture of the dildo, just how hard had Kid shoved it in? The fucking thing was almost 15 cm inside the younger man’s ass.

A small whistle came from Law, who smiled at the embarrassed redhead in the bed. “It sure is stuck, mister Eustass, you did a good job putting it in, that’s for sure.” Kidd looked op from his hands: “Shut the fuck up or I will stove your fucking notepad up your ass, you scrawny bitch!” Killer braced himself for the worst but was surprised when Law only laughed and turned back to the light board. He examined the sheet for a few minutes in silence, but stopped when he heard the faint buzzing noise. “Wait, what is that sound?” The doctor frowned. Kidd hid his face in his hands again mumbling “I-It’s still on”. Trafalgar blinked. “Uh-huh.” He returned to the light board: “Well mister Eustass…” there was a stroke of amusement in his voice, the good doctor tried his hardest not to laugh.”It looks like we need to sedate you and pull that thing out, I’ll go call the nurse, you and mister Killer will wait here until she arrives. Killer nodded and waved goodbye to Law, looking back at his friend, who were still hiding his face into his hands. “Uh, Kid should I stay with you o-” Kid groaned loudly “just get the hell out of here, Killer!”

After three hours and four cups of awful watery coffee, Killer and Kid were finally on their way home again, the redhead was snoring peacefully away in the passenger seat. Hehad some problems walking back to the car. Law had offered a wheeling chair, which earned him a punch in the face from a much sedated Kid, but the doctor took no offence, he just sent them off from the hospital, shouting, if they wanted the dildo back? After that comment, Kid had tried to get back to Law and beat the living shit out of him, but Killer had easily dragged his groggy friend back to the car.  
Killer sighed and scratched his goatee, wondering how he should tell Kid’s workplace that the poor guy wouldn’t be able to work for a least a day or two. It had sure been a weird day and he was glad it was over, for both Kid and himself. He felt sorry for the poor redhead. But he still couldn’t fucking wait to tell Heat and Wire about this!  
The end.

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope you enjoyed the mayhem!


End file.
